Mariska Hargitay reveals how she and husband Peter Hermann survive their toughest moments

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Mariska Hargitay and Peter Hermann are one of Hollywood’s most enduring couples, having been married for almost 22 years and together for 24. 

While this is no small feat, the Law & Order: SVU star shared that the secret to their long-lasting love was to remain curious about each other, no matter how many years into the marriage. 

The 62-year-old told E! News that she was “so blessed” in her relationship as the pair always took the time to understand where the other person was coming from.

© Getty Images
Mariska shared that their secret was to remain curious about each other

“My new two favorite words are ‘disciplined curiosity.’ Really being curious about the other person and how they experience something and really listening,” she told the outlet. 

Mariska explained that they still fought like every other married couple, but they were able to navigate through “tough conversations” together with humor.  

“My husband is a great listener and an extremely thoughtful person, and he’s taught me so much about that,” she continued. “And so if there is ever a disagreement or an argument or we get scared or tight, I know that he will always think about it or what I said, and so now I’m like that.”

mariska hargitay peter hermann hugging© WireImage
The pair have been married since 2004

“If we disagree on something, I really will try to understand what he means,” she added. “And so we give each other the space to have those, you know, they can be tough conversations, but to really listen and understand, because I think you get into trouble when you close down and just get mad.”

Mariska shared that humor was key in making it out of major arguments. “My husband and I also use a lot of humor to get through things,” she said.

Mariska Hargitay and Peter Hermann attend the 2025 Tribeca Festival opening night premiere of "Billy Joel: And So It Goes" at The Beacon Theatre on June 04, 2025 in New York City© WireImage
They also rely on humor to get them through tough moments

“The way we can joke about things and then afterwards if we joke and we go, ‘Too soon?’ It’s sort of everything for us because if you can joke about it, then there’s a little bit of perspective, it’s another way in, and to say, ‘I love you. I’m sorry. I’m still here. Can we laugh because no matter what, we’re going to figure this out.'”

Mariska Hargitay, Peter Hermann and their three kids pose for a photo at a wedding in London, shared on Instagram© Instagram
The couple share kids August, Amaya and Andrew

Mariska and Peter first met on the set of Law & Order: SVU in 2002, and tied the knot two years later. The duo share kids August, 19, Amaya, 15, and Andrew, 14. For Peter’s part, the Younger actor has always been supportive of his wife and all of her career milestones, including her recent Broadway debut in Every Brilliant Thing. 

“Watching the person I love do something she loves is more beautiful than I can describe,” he told People“Mariska is so deeply fulfilled by this play and this experience, and I’m every bit as fulfilled seeing her pour her extraordinary heart and soul into it.” 

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