Parents with young children will be aware of the school-holiday conundrum: it is both a boon and a burden to spend more time with your kids. You know the time is precious yet its preciousness is what puts so much pressure on you not to let it fritter away in front of the TV or with prosaic trips to local parks.
I was thus over the moon to hear about a new initiative from the innovative folk at Kent’s Leeds Castle: its Knights’ Retreat family accommodation, comprising eight luxury lodges in the heart of the castle’s 500-acre grounds. The inspiration for the accommodation dates all the way back to the thirteenth century, when the castle’s hedonistic owner, Queen Eleanor of Castile, coined her home the ‘Castle of Delights’. Clearly what constituted ‘delight’ in the Middle Ages diverges somewhat from modern-day mores so, suitably intrigued, we packed our bags and embarked on the perilous Dartford Crossing from Essex to Kent. Would we have a ‘knight’ to to remember or a ‘knightmare’? Read on to find out…
First impressions
The UK has been a wet and miserable place this year, so the fact it was overcast yet dry when we stabled our horse/Skoda Octavia upon arrival at the castle was actually cause for much rejoicing. Despite living relatively close by, I had never been to Leeds Castle before so wasn’t completely sure what to expect, and I deliberately didn’t look at any photos or read around it before our visit. If castles can be placed on a scale of completely dilapidated to perfectly preserved prettiness, Leeds Castle is definitely more on the pulchritudinous side, despite one turret currently being wrapped in scaffolding.
Its aesthetic appeal is largely down to two factors. The first is the green fields and moat which encircle the castle in a manner befitting a Disney fairytale (just how I like my castles). The second is the fact that over the years, the 12th century Norman castle has only been besieged twice and also undergone several significant renovations, the most recent under the auspices of the castle’s last private owner, the Anglo-American heiress Olive, Lady Baillie in the early 20th century. While previous renovations focused more on the castle’s facade, Lady Baillie revamped its interiors with the aim of turning it into something of a pleasure palace. She was undoubtedly successful, and we learnt that the castle played host to many a luminary from the world of art, literature and film – Daphne Du Maurier and Errol Flynn among them.
Outdoor entertainment
While I would have been perfectly happy to spend two days exploring every nook and cranny of the castle itself, all parents will know that when it comes to ‘cultural’ family holidays, a certain degree of quid pro quo is involved. In this case, the kids’ quid for the parents’ quo was that we spend the first day enjoying the castle’s al fresco activities, of which there are plenty.
First up was the wooden adventure playground, appositely built to resemble a castle. So it was that we spent a good hour chasing an eight and two-year-old round the impressive edifice, replete with steep steps, a magnificent slide and zip wires, happy at the end that we had lost neither child and that neither of them (nor us) had broken any bones.
Next we went to the birds of prey centre just in time to catch a rather magnificent falconry show during which we met an owl named Simone and a mother and son pair of Harris Hawks called Gallow and Texas (I think!). I don’t want to reveal all of the avian nuggets the excellent ringmaster divulged, as you will find them out when you visit, but he did debunk one popular myth regarding the wisdom of owls who clearly have excellent publicists as actually they are one of the least intelligent species of bird going. I guess ‘wise old pigeon’ just doesn’t have the same ring to it. Beyond the educational element, your children will absolutely love getting so close to the birds which are flown around the assembled audience throughout, often inducing stifled gasps at the proximity of their flight paths.
After the show we frequented the obstacle course and then played adventure golf. Not a huge amount to say here though the golf’s layout is undoubtedly imaginative, including a hole with a moat which you can ferry yourself across in a castle-shaped barge. One minor grumble, is that you have to pay for the privilege of playing adventure golf. Nothing outrageous – about £3 per person – but these things should clearly be included in your entry ticket: it’s like paying to enter a theme park and then being charged to go on rides…
Quibble aside – and having navigated our daughter’s disappointment at her lack of a ‘genuine’ hole in one – we went to the castle’s maze. Now I have to say my previous experience of mazes hasn’t being ‘a-maze-ing’ as they have been about as tricky to work out as the one-times table. Not so at Leeds Castle, where the tangle of hedges are so tough to fathom I actually started to get a bit panicked and claustrophobic.
Happily, a group of children who had made it to the mound at the maze’s centre were on hand to shout directions and guide us home. Exiting the maze is far less problematic than entering it, as you are taken via an underground grotto where you meet a range of mythical creatures.
The mythical lodges
Being now in my 40s, the uncertainty engendered by the maze left me in need of a cup of coffee and something sweet to soothe the nerves. Thankfully, I didn’t have to wait long as next we checked into our lodge, Basilisk. For fans of mythical creatures, the other seven all have equally fantastical names (Dragon, Gryphon, Hippogriff, Mermaid & Minotaur, Phoenix and Unicorn) but I was more than happy with our serpentine quarters, especially as it is one of the nearest to the car park. Actually, on a less flippant note, its location is important to note as it is one of the two lodges which are completely accessible, the other being Dragon. Its accessibility means the door is automated and triggered by motion, something those with toddlers of an exploratory disposition would do well to note…
Inside, the lodge opens up like a Tardis. We’ve stayed in premium lodges at holiday camps before and I can safely that Basilisk is the best of the bunch. Who would have thought the insides of a snake would be so amenable? As you come into the cabin, there is a lounge area replete with extremely comfortable sofa. To the right is a well-equipped kitchen and a generous sized table. Indeed, given most people are likely only to stay overnight, my wife pointed out it almost feels over the top, yet for those wishing to cook, there is nothing they will be lacking.
Moving onto the bedrooms, and to the left of the lounge you will find a double, while at the rear is an ample-sized twin with enough space for a cot to boot. The bathroom adjoins the kitchen and contains a walk-in shower, good for young children as well as those with accessibility needs. Of course, this is a Knights’ Retreat and so medieval motifs pepper the property, from the tapestries on the walls to the shield-shaped cushions. If I were to be picky, perhaps there is more Leeds can do to make the accommodation interactive and child-friendly. Some sort of quest round the grounds where you have to find knightly items, or maybe a little medieval activity pack upon arrival. Nothing revolutionary, but I think the sort of little touches that would elevate the stay into the upper echelon of both entertaining and educational family breaks.
Food with a view
As it was, we did have to embark on a mini adventure to get back to the Stable Courtyard to have our evening meal. While the nights are getting lighter, if you do go on the Knights’ Retreat in the next few weeks, you would be well advised to pack a torch. Happily our navigational senses were clearly honed by our earlier battle with the maze and we found Castle View Restaurant easily enough, which, in true Ronseal fashion, offers a seriously impressive view of the castle itself. This view became even more impressive at breakfast the next day, despite the inevitable mizzle to which we awoke. Also impressive was the breakfast itself, and I had one of the best full Englishes I have ever had at a hotel – and ate more pastries than Paul Hollywood in an entire series of Bake-Off.
Inside the castle
Suitably fuelled, we headed into the Castle of Delights. Here the break really came into its own as throughout half-term the castle was jam-packed with things to entertain both child and adult alike. Entering, a chart allowed us to find our medieval names (mine was Duke Troy) before we walked down a red carpet and announced our presence with bows and curtsies. In another room, we had to perfect our noble comportment by walking with a bean bag on our bonces. In the salon we were introduced to Lord Hugo, Groom of the Stool to King Edward I (an actual medieval role, no toilet humour here), and Lady Mary, Queen Eleanor of Castile’s chief Lady in Waiting. Here we had a crash course in royal etiquette and enjoyed a wonderful castle ball with some modern twists (who knew the Middle Agers were such ravers?!). Having been formally accepted into the Queen’s court, we proceeded round the castle, finding a room where the children – and adults – could don medieval garb, and a piano over 100 years old on which I played a short passage from the very regal Rugrats.
I should note that these activities were all part of the castle’s half-term programme, but events are on all of the time so please check the website (Easter at Leeds Castle is the next child-oriented event) before you book your Knights’ Retreat package.
As we left Leeds Castle later that day, remarkably the sun started to shine – an apt metaphor for our time there as it really did brighten up our half term. I would thoroughly recommend you let the Castle of Delights delight you and your family too.
Book your Knights’ Retreat break here from £69 per person.
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