Have you ever felt like life has passed you by? That the dreams you had for a glittering career or launching that new business idea has been taken over by the reality of the midlife squeeze. Looking after elderly parents, or young children can push many into forgetting to follow their own dreams and take a career pause to balance the juggle instead.
And then just when you are ready to step back on to the train, poof, your confidence has vanished along with your self-worth – many thanks menopause.
It is a scientific fact that fluctuating hormones can cause women to doubt their ability and work performance and many often find themselves taking a step back instead of leaning into their talents. Add to that watching the younger generation stepping up and taking your place, it can feel tempting to throw in the towel and say ‘I’m too old for this!’.
Which is exactly the opposite of what we should be doing according to life coach, TEDx speaker and author of Confident and Killing It Tiwalola Adebayo, who gives powerful pep talks to the likes of Morgan Stanley, Google and Lululemon.
I was so impressed when I saw Tiwalola empowering a packed out room of midlife women at her workshop at the Allbright Step Forward Summit that I asked her for some invaluable tips for our community to help us thrive no matter what our age.
If you are looking to put the sparkle back in your life and have brighter and bolder second act reinvention then read on…
CHANGE YOUR MINDSET
“First of all, it’s never too late. Society has a lot of false deadlines and false milestones that actually do not apply.
“Your life, your rules, your pace. There’s 8 billion people on this planet. There’s no way we’re all going to be at a specific stage at a specific time.
“So rethink all the rules about retirement, and stop saying I’m in my 60s, I can’t do this, or in my 50s, I can’t do this, you can be whoever you want to be. That’s the 1st step. You’ve got change your mindset about that.”
LOOK AT YOUR STRENGTHS
“Go back to your strengths. What are you good at doing? What comes naturally to you? What are you passionate about? And then what really matters to you?
LIVE ON YOUR TERMS
“I think a lot of women don’t live life on their terms when they’re younger.
“They’re listening to all the rules, they’re listening to the leaders, they’re doing what they’re told, and when they come back for their second act, they realise that ‘I don’t want to live on somebody else’s terms. I want to live on my terms.’
REDEFINE SUCCESS
“Don’t be afraid to refine and redefine the life that you want. You have to be able to define success on your own terms.
“Because what the world says is success and what we truly care about are often very different things. So define success on your own terms, don’t be afraid to redefine who you want to be. It’s your life.
Confidence is something you build up, and you can do this at any stage of your life.
Chuck all the timelines out the window, know your strengths, tap into your sense of inner power and live on your own terms.
So if you have been letting your age define you or hold you back, now is the time to give yourself permission to live life on your own terms and check out Second Act for more inspiring ways to do it.
HELLO!’s Second Act is a newsletter for women in midlife and beyond. It’s completely free to sign up and is a one-stop-shop for advice and inspiration on the issues our Second Act community have told us matter most: health, relationships, travel, menopause, divorce, careers, finance and more.
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