A woman says she’s rethinking her relationship with a close friend after he berated her for letting someone see a room for rent in her apartment — even though he had said he didn’t want it when she offered the room to him first.
The 23-year-old woman wrote in a post on Reddit’s “Am I The A——?” forum that she’s been friends with a 28-year-old man since they met at work a few years ago, when he moved to her city and didn’t know many people.
“But our friendship was exhausting,” she continued, explaining of the man: “He’s always been aggressive, and I was constantly cleaning up his messes, whether that meant picking him up drunk, dealing with his problems, or just trying to keep him out of trouble.”
“Over time, we drifted apart because I got tired of always having to take care of him,” the woman added.
Fast forward to now, the woman said she is currently renting a room in her apartment after it has been vacant for eight months, and she said that she and the man had previously spoken about him potentially taking it and being roommates.
“But he told me he was fine where he was, so I moved forward and offered it to my best friend’s sister instead,” the woman continued, adding that the other woman “hasn’t even taken the room, yet she just wants to check it out and see if it’s a good fit.”
Now, the woman wrote that despite the man turning her offer down, he recently called her at midnight one evening, waking her up, to tell her that he “suddenly wants the room.”
“When I told him I had already promised someone [else] the chance to see it, he kind of went off on me, saying, ‘Are you really gonna pick some girl over me?’ and pressuring me, insisting that I had no right to choose my best friend’s sister over him because she’s ‘just some stranger,’ ” she said.
The woman added that the man is staying with someone “who has been kind enough to let him live there, but instead of being grateful, he’s been arguing with them and causing problems.”
“It honestly feels like he doesn’t appreciate people’s generosity, and I’m afraid if I let him move in, he’ll start treating me the same way,” she continued, also noting that she thinks the man calling her in the “middle of the night and trying to guilt trip” her wasn’t fair.
“I received five phone calls back to back from an unknown number, so I didn’t even know it was him when he was calling,” the woman explained.
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In the comments section, many users agreed with the woman that she was in the right to have moved on from her offer to the man and show others the room for rent.
“You gave him a shot, he declined. Anyone would try to find someone else,” one user wrote, adding, “Plus the way he tried to ‘persuade’ you sounds really toxic and manipulative.”
“Given the history and current behavior of this person, I’d question why on earth you are even entertaining the idea of letting them have the room. You would be setting yourself up for months of grief and hassle,” someone else said.
In a later update to the post, the woman explained that she has since sent the man a message, saying, “I’ve decided that I can’t move forward with you moving into my apartment. Over time, I’ve realized that I can no longer tolerate the way you treat me and others. Your rudeness has made it difficult for me to feel comfortable in our friendship, and I don’t think it’s healthy for me to continue ignoring that. I truly hope you take some time to reflect and work on yourself because I do care about you.”
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