A woman is debating her relationship after one of her home-cooked meals led to an argument with her boyfriend that has yet to be resolved.
Seeking advice, the girlfriend turned to Reddit’s “Am I the A——” forum on March 2 to recount the relationship drama, describing how her boyfriend felt “guilty” for wanting to get Taco Bell instead of eating a dish she made.
“I told my bf that I was going to make Mapo Tofu, a dish he’s never had before,” she wrote. “It is one I like a lot. He told me he’s never had tofu before so I was excited for him to try it. Since we have different cultures and different taste, I told him ahead of time that if he didn’t end up liking it, he can order out. Not that it matters much, but he’s White and I’m Asian.”
While she was cooking the meal, she recalled that he said, “Taco Bell seems nice right now.” After she plated the food, he tried a bite, told her “it’s good,” and emphasized that he just doesn’t “like the texture” of tofu.
“When I’m about to clean up, he asks me, ‘Are you mad I didn’t like it?’ I said ‘No, I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed. I made this for us,’ ” she remembered. “He said, ‘At least I tried it. You’re making me feel bad, fine I’ll just eat it.’ I was thrown aback because I don’t want him to feel forced to eat something he doesn’t like.”
“So I responded with, ‘No it’s fine, you can get Taco Bell. I’ll just pack this for my sister and I’s lunch.’ He then said, ‘I’ll just eat it, you’re making me feel guilty,” to which I just shrugged,” the girlfriend continued. “We then got into a long argument with him saying he expected me to comfort him when he expressed himself feeling guilty after the way I acted/ my tone of voice. He said he felt like I was guilt tripping him.”
Questioning whether she responded appropriately to the situation and soliciting tips on how to handle it, the woman asked Redditors, “AITA [am I the a——] for not comforting my bf after he didn’t like my cooking?”
One reader responded, “He’s literally just sad about not getting Taco Bell, child-like behavior.” Another person replied to that comment with, “Agreed, girl, run. Do you really want to be raising this grown man as if he is your child? Send him back to his momma, he’s not done yet.”
Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.
Others addressed the boyfriend’s reaction to wanting to be comforted.
“What he’s asking you to do is called emotional monitoring, where you take responsibility for ‘fixing’ anything that might possibly make him uncomfortable,” a Redditor explained. “That dynamic destroyed my last relationship. Not much erodes respect for someone faster than realizing that they can’t/won’t do any emotional labor.”
Read the full article here
