Woman Has Anxiety About Attending a Costume Party Because She Is ‘Fat’: ‘Dressing Is So Much Harder as a Larger Person’

A woman is speaking candidly about the anxiety she is facing tied to attending a party as a “fat” individual.

In a post on the U.K.-based forum Mumsnet, the woman wrote that her friend is planning to throw an anniversary party and told their group it would have a costume theme.

While their posse was very excited about the gathering, the woman said she was not. “I’m fat. I’m 5’2” and [224 lbs.]. I’m now [189 lbs.] and losing steadily, but realistically, I’ll be fat for a long time still,” she explained.

“I’ve been fat for 15 years. My other friends are all slim (and about 5 inches taller!) It’s really easy when you’re a slender/standard size to go into a charity shop and get fun cheap things that fit the theme and which look great,” she continued, adding that at her size, “the pickings are slim and usually dreadful.”

Looking back at a recent 1960s-themed bachelorette party she attended, where her friends wore mini dresses and knee-high boots, the woman said she instead came in a T-shirt she tie-dyed herself.

“The picture of us all just makes me feel terribly upset. I look like a tie-dye whale,” she explained. “I did have a flattering wrap dress that I loved and made me happy, but obviously couldn’t wear it.”

“Dressing is just so much harder as a larger person,” the woman added.

Now, because she voiced her opinions about the planned party, the woman said her friend is reconsidering the event altogether or thinking about making the costume part optional.

“Me being fat is a me problem. I’m fully aware of that, and I’m now finally managing to lose weight,” she wrote. “This is my friend’s party, and I’ll go regardless and try not to feel like a self-conscious lump. My friend is lovely, and it’s not her fault I’m fat and that fancy dress makes me sad. But other fat friends all feel the same. Fancy dress is a slim woman’s game.”

As the woman concluded her post writing, “I know I was wrong,” she then asked: “How do I fix this?”

In the comments section, one user wrote, “I get where you’re coming from, but I feel like you may be overthinking the theme. For the 60s party, was the wrap dress completely impossible? Could you not have worn that with some floral accessories and the charity shop boots?”

In response, the woman who wrote the post said, “I think that’s the thing — I hate dressing up. I’m sure there will be loads of body-confident size 18s telling me that I’m wrong and should love myself, but that’s not possible for me and, frankly, for the majority of the larger women I know.”

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Another person, meanwhile, wrote that they were the same size as the woman. “Fat people can absolutely wear fancy dress if they want to,” they said.

Added one other: “I’m a bit overweight and feel the same. I hate it. It is a lot of stress, and often cost, to have to wear something that makes me feel bad about myself.”