Why Michelle Obama’s life before Barack was so different

Barack and Michelle Obama are the definition of a power couple, having both graduated from Harvard Law School, raised two talented daughters, and worked side by side during his presidency.

However, before they met in Chicago at the law firm Sidley and Austin, their lives were vastly different, with Michelle growing up in a traditional working-class family while Barack’s mother moved around frequently. 

The couple often clashed over their differing parenting styles as Michelle favored a more grounded and stable upbringing for their daughters while Barack was used to constant change within his family. 

The mother of two grew up in Chicago’s south side as the daughter of a secretary and a blue-collar worker, and was close to her high-achieving older brother, Craig. 

She worked hard in school to get good marks, yet doubted herself and took other’s comments to heart. 

“I was afraid of not knowing the answer in class and looking stupid, or worried about what some boy thought of me, or wondering whether the other girls liked my clothes or my hair,” she told People.

She added that she would be “angsting about some offhand comment someone made to me in the lunchroom.”

“I would love to go back in time and tell my younger self, ‘Michelle, these middle and high school years are just a tiny blip in your life, and all the slights and embarrassments and heartaches, all those times you got that one question wrong on that test — none of that is important in the scheme of things,'” she continued. 

Michelle also faced adversity when she decided to pursue a place at the prestigious Princeton University, where she completed a Bachelor of Arts.

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“They told me I was never going to get into a school like Princeton. I still hear that doubt ringing in my head,” she told students in a 2013 speech. The former First Lady added that she “used that negativity to fuel me, to keep me going.”

After graduating from both Princeton and Harvard Law School, Michelle was on track to become a successful lawyer and landed a job at Sidley and Austin.

In 1989, she met her future husband for the first time when she was assigned as his mentor at the firm. “I remember being struck by how tall and beautiful she was,” Barack told O, The Oprah Magazine in 2007.

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Three years later, the lovebirds married in a sweet ceremony in Chicago, marking the beginning of their lives together. However, it was not all smooth sailing with the newlyweds, as Michelle revealed to Vanity Fair.

“I came into our marriage with a more traditional notion of what a family is,” she told the publication. “It was what I knew growing up — the mother at home, the father works, you have dinner around the table.”

“I had a very stable, conventional upbringing, and that felt very safe to me,” she continued. “And then I married a man who came from a very different kind of upbringing. He didn’t grow up with a father; his mother traveled the world. So, we both came to this marriage with very different notions about what children need, and what does a couple need to be happy.”

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Michelle and Barack welcomed their daughter Malia in 1998, followed by Sasha in 2001, and realized that sacrifices needed to be made for both his political career and the sake of their children. 

“Once I got a sense that the family we were creating was going to be good for our children, I realized that it wasn’t exactly what I had, but our children are thriving and they feel loved.”

Michelle was worried that Barack’s budding political career would keep him away from their young family. “Part of my fear was: Are my kids going to be okay?” she said. “If they don’t see their dad at night, like I did, will they feel he loves them?”

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“Barack grew up not seeing his mother for months at a time,” Michelle explained. “There was a period when his mother stayed in Indonesia and he came back to Hawaii, and he was living with his grandparents. And he experienced that fully feeling that ‘my mother loves me deeply.’ So he was more comfortable with those choices than I was, and that was an adjustment that I had to make.”

The former president echoed this sentiment to the Washington Examiner, adding that his unstable upbringing led to different ideas of good parenting. 

He shared that they had an “opposites attract” romance where Michelle was grounded and stable, while he was more “adventurous” and open to new ideas, thanks to their childhood experiences.