Travel Guru Rick Steves Says Prostate Surgery ‘Incontinence’ Helped Him Empathize With Women (Exclusive)

Rick Steves says prostate surgery has given him an unexpected insight.

Steves, author of more than 100 travel guides and host of the long-running PBS Series Rick Steves’ Europe , was diagnosed with prostate cancer in August and says he’s “on the road to recovery and it’s a beautiful feeling.” But, he says, one unpleasant side effect of the surgery has also provided him with a surprising understanding.

Steves has been back to work giving talks and doing research since his Oct. 4 surgery and says he’s been feeling great, except for difficulty controlling his bladder, a common side-effect of the procedure. “It’s all about the incontinence,” he says. “I didn’t even know what that word was and now it’s a big part of my life.”

But, he adds, the need to pee more frequently has helped him better relate to the women in his life.

“Women go, ‘Well, now you understand!’ I think that’s so funny. So I don’t complain about the incontinence,” he says. “I think it’s a way for us to gain some empathy.”

According to the Cleveland Clinic, between 6% and 8% of people who have had surgery to remove their prostate will develop some type of urinary incontinence, but it is usually temporary. One way to improve the condition is to do exercises called kegels that help to strengthen the pelvic floor.

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Steves, who’s been sharing travel advice for nearly 40 years, including on his PBS show, which premiered in 2000, and on his radio show Travel With Rick Steves, airing on about 500 stations, says coping with cancer and recovering from surgery has given him perspective on his busy life, which takes him on the road more than 100 days each year. “Taking it easy is not my forte,” he says. “I love my work. But this experience is a reminder of our mortality and how fast the years go by.”

In a way, he says, facing cancer has been “like a divine intervention. It’s like, ‘Stop thinking what you do is so important.’ The world’s graveyards are filled with indispensable people. You can get seduced into thinking you’re really important and it’s nice to remember that there’s other things that might be deserving of a little more attention.”

One of those things he most values is his relationship with long-time girlfriend Shelley Bryan Wee, a Lutheran Bishop, whom he’s been with since 2019. “She is just such a loving person, a person of great faith and inspiration in so many ways,” he says. “And she’s been there.”

Steves is currently awaiting lab results testing his prostate to see if he is cancer free, but he says he is hopeful for good results. “I have no doubt I’m going to be in Europe researching guidebooks and making TV shows next year unless there’s terrible news from the lab,” he says. “But this is something people recover from.”

And as he recovers, Steves is keeping a characteristically optimistic attitude toward his future: “My mindset now is be patient, be positive, be thankful, take it one day at a time…and do your kegel exercises!” he says.

For more on Rick Steves, pick up this week’s issue of PEOPLE magazine, on sale on newsstands nationwide.