TikTok star Matt Howard temporarily made the decision to sleep separately from wife Abby Howard.
“This is super embarrassing, but I’ve been sleeping in our walk-in closet for the past month now,” Matt, 26, said on the Saturday, February 1, episode of his “Night Shift” podcast. “This is now our guest bedroom mattress that I dragged all the way from our guest bedroom into here.”
He added, “My wife’s not a huge fan of this arrangement, obviously. I don’t know a spouse [who] would be stoked about their significant other sleeping in the freaking closet. Not only does that sound super weird, but for someone like my wife who loves cuddles and to have me play with her hair while she falls asleep, she’s not the biggest fan of this.”
While Matt understands Abby’s point of view, he felt compelled to switch up their sleeping arrangements “to prioritize [his] mental health.”
“[This] is a temporary decision,” he stressed. “I was not OK. I was really struggling [and] feeling awful and that’s why I’m here.”
Matt and Abby, also 26, have been together since high school, eventually getting married in July 2019. Together, the “Unplanned” podcast hosts share sons Griffin, 2, and August, 18 months.
According to Matt, his battles with anxiety and ADHD had been interfering with his ability to get a restful night’s sleep.
“It’s because of all these stupid things that my brain has wrong with it,” Matt said. “I would get so nervous [and] I put so much pressure on myself, trying to be the cool kid that I would rehearse the way I would say words in front of people, like, if I was trying to talk to somebody … I already had a relationship with. I would stutter because I would get so nervous that I would say something stupid.”
In addition to sleeping in another room, Matt has been trying to manage his anxious tendencies.
“It’s weird I have to acknowledge its presence, but I don’t have to give it energy,” he said. “It’s something I’m working through with meditation and breathing exercises. If there’s ever a fear or some sort of feeling that’s trying to take over my entire life, I just try to acknowledge it’s there and observe it but, like, put it behind a glass door in my brain.”
Despite getting a “sleep divorce” — which is how Matt titled part of the podcast episode on YouTube — he and Abby are still happily married.
“I just realized I’m not wearing my ring. I should probably put that on,” Matt quipped. “My wife and I are still together, by the way. I took it off ’cause I’ve been wearing this silicone ring that was digging into my finger and then my ring finger started to get chapped, so I took it off today to give my skin a break.”
He added, “We’re still married and we still love each other.”
Matt and Abby also schedule “mommy and daddy time” now that they are sleeping apart.
“We’ve been having amazing sex and that’s ’cause I have energy again,” Matt explained. “I have the energy to look forward to that because I’m sleeping good, which is amazing and also maybe this is just me being a parent, but dude, day sex is the best.”
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