The Real Housewives of New York City star Brynn Whitfield detailed her harrowing sexual assault for the first time — revealing that she still comes face-to-face with her alleged assailant, who she has never publicly named or directly accused.
“[In] my 30s, I had so many problems, things on my mind,” Brynn, 37, told People on Tuesday, December 3. “There’s all these things I had in my head. I’m privileged, but sexual assault wasn’t one of them.”
She recalled being sexually assaulted by an unnamed man who was described as someone in the New York City social scene that had been “courting” her. Brynn noted that she felt like a “shell of myself” after the incident — and didn’t tell anyone for months.
“You just go home, and you just shower, and you just want to pretend like it didn’t happen,” she shared. “I think my water bill probably that month was like $10,000 … and just there’s not enough soap in the world [to get clean]. … You try not to put chlorine in your luxurious bathtub.”
Brynn noted that she was “literally numb” after the incident and “blamed” herself for what had happened.
“I put on a brave face and I refuse to cause a scene. I don’t like loudness. I don’t like screaming or yelling because of my childhood,” Brynn told People about continuing to run into her assailant. “I pick up the check and I sign. That’s what I do. That’s that.”
She also spoke candidly about what happened during Tuesday’s episode of RHONY.
“I just felt dumb and embarrassed and blamed myself. It’s like, none of this was supposed to happen to me,” Brynn said in her confessional through tears. The Bravo star said that her past assault “robbed” her of several experiences — especially because she never told her late grandmother and avoided speaking to her.
“It robbed me of ever wanting to get married. It robbed me of whether or not I might have children,” she continued. “Worst, it robbed me of the last year with [my grandmother].”
Brynn noted that she’s felt “like a liar” for the past year.
“Every time that people ask me why I’m single, I smile and I say, ‘Oh there’s not enough billionaires in the world’ or ‘I’ve dated them all,’” she said. “It’s like a knife that keeps going in and I just feel like I’m f—ing lying and I want to feel better because it’s not going away and I’m running out of time.”
During her People interview, Brynn explained why she wanted to share her experience publicly.
“You have to find reason in everything. There’s a reason I needed to experience this and honestly, it opened me up,” she says of how this experience has changed her outlook on dating.
“You have to find reason in everything,” she said. “There’s a reason I needed to experience this and honestly, it opened me up.”
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).
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