Trending:
- After Matt James announced on Jan. 16 that he and Rachael Kirkconnell broke up after four years together, she appeared on Alex Cooper’s Call Her Daddy podcast on Jan. 28
- Kirkconnell revealed on the latest episode of The Squeeze podcast that she and James had “a conversation” following the tell-all interview
- The reality star shared that she got the apology and closure she needed from the Bachelor alum
Rachael Kirkconnell revealed her ex Matt James apologized following her tell-all interview about their breakup.
Kirkconnell, 28, joined Tay Lautner on the March 26 episode of The Squeeze podcast and opened up about the conversation she had with James, who announced the couple’s shocking breakup on Jan. 16, after her appearance on on Alex Cooper’s Call Her Daddy podcast on Jan. 28.
Kirkconnell previously told Cooper that she was blindsided by James’ public announcement of their split. She explained that she saw The Bachelor alum’s post on Instagram shortly before a 12-hour flight and was unaware that he planned to share their recent breakup news with the “whole world.”
Less than two months later, she shared with Lautner, 28, that she and James “did have a conversation after the podcast.”
“I think if he ever wants to share his side of it and his story then he’s more than able to, of course,” Kirkconnell said. “I think that hearing certain things come from him helped me a lot. I think that, you know, not only did he apologize for things, but he took a lot of things back.”
“Of course, that was really hard to hear, and it was really sad, and it hurts,” she continued. “Sometimes I tell myself it was so nice to hear the things I had been wanting to hear for weeks and I finally got that apology and that closure and that honesty that I needed from him.”
However, she confirmed that “it still didn’t change anything” for her, adding, “It still happened. He still did what he did and we still had to navigate everything after that.”
She confirmed they are not in regular contact. “I have not been texting him, I have not been calling him, don’t worry.”
She confessed that since the initial interview, she does feel “less heartbroken.” She said that as time goes by, she’s had more time to “think about a lot of things within the relationship and things that he did, things that I did.” Adding, “A lot of things that at the end of the day, like, weren’t okay or weren’t respectful, and that’s helped me move on.”
But she confirmed one thing that hasn’t changed, and “never will,” is that she doesn’t have any “hatred or ill-will” towards James.
“I think you can forgive someone without, you know, taking them back or wanting to work through things or whatever it may be. I think you can forgive someone and accept their apology, but then keep moving on,” she said. “But it doesn’t mean you have to have them back in your life.”
She also explained to Lautner that she had come to the realization that it wasn’t her fault. “I do think it helped that I had that conversation with him and I heard those things from him,” Kirkconnell said. “But even if I hadn’t, I think that it is so important to acknowledge it for yourself, like, ‘It wasn’t fully me. It wasn’t 1,000 percent completely my fault.’ ”
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Kirkconnell also admitted, “I still do wish on some level we could be friends. Because he was my best friend.”
“We don’t have to be friends, but friendly would be nice. I do want him to be happy, it doesn’t have to be with me. I said that from the beginning of our relationship, I said that to him on the show,” She continued. “And I still feel like that today to this day. I just want both of us to be happy even if it’s not with each other.”
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