painful family rift, abuse, addiction and devastating loss

Hayden’s world shattered in February 2023 when her younger brother, Jansen, suddenly passed away due to an undiagnosed heart condition. 

She was forced to relay the news to her mother, Lesley Vogel, and shared on the On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast in 2026 that she spiralled into a deep depression after his loss.

“There’s nothing in my life that feels like losing my other half, the other half that was born to be the yin to my yang,” she explained. 

“I would need a dictionary to go through all the words for all the feelings that go through your mind.”

“I collapsed, and it stayed with me,” she continued. “Time is the best healer, generally, but it’s been three years and every year it’s changed. The heartbreak has changed. But losing him and realizing how much of life I was gonna have to go through alone and without him.”

Hayden added that Jansen was “so alive in my head still” and she “never thought that anything could take him down or take him away”.

“He was so good, too, and it makes you so angry to see that there are bad people thriving in this world, and then one so good that’s just taken from you,” she lamented. 

“Why? It’s not fair. It doesn’t make sense. I will never get over it. It will just evolve.”

Hayden shared a touching social media tribute to Jansen in September 2025 alongside a photo of the pair as kids. “My little brother Jansen would’ve turned 31 today,” she wrote.

“He was a remarkable human being. He was wise beyond his years and operated at a higher spiritual level than anyone I’ve ever met. He was everything that is good and pure in this world.”

“I miss him every single day, but I know his spirit is always near, watching over and protecting me and my family. I love you to infinity and beyond, J, and we will be together again one day.”

Hayden was put to work as a child actress from an incredibly young age, and was constantly reminded that the family depended on her checks to pay their bills. 

Her mother Lesley also served as her manager, after enjoying moderate acting success in the ’80s and ’90s.

“Everything was business,” Hayden shared on the On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast. 

“I became the confidante and the assistant and the therapist and the shoulder to cry on and everything but her child.”

“I desperately wanted to still feel like I had parents to lean on,” she continued, before recounting the time her mother blamed her career for taking her away from Jansen. 

“[She said:] ‘You’re the reason why I’m missing my son growing up,'” Hayden recalled. “That was a punch in the gut.”

The star attempted to sever their professional relationship when she was 19, which caused Lesley to respond with ire. 

“I said to her, ‘I don’t want us to work together anymore. I just want you to be my mom,'” Hayden shared.

“I remember being hopeful. But I also wasn’t expecting the reaction that I got, which was, ‘You owe me.’ And that’s all she said. And she walked out. It was disappointing to find out that it was money. The fact that she didn’t care to have a relationship with me was a tough pill to swallow.”

Lesley denied the claims that Hayden made about their relationship in her 2026 memoir, This Is Me: A Reckoning, sharing a statement that read: “After 20 years of trauma, I took the advice of professionals and chose the no-contact route. As many parents of entertainment children [know], we are all too familiar with the painful observation of watching the self-destructive paths they sometimes choose.”

“Sadly, this is out of our control. You cannot save someone who does not want to be saved,” she concluded.

Hayden battled addiction from an early age, and recalled the first time that she was given drugs at just 16.

“Somebody who was on my team that I was working with came to me, and it was before this red carpet, and I had been doing Heroes, and we did press all the time, and I was a little low-energy,” she said on Red Table Talk. 

“[They said], ‘Here, take one of these, it’s a happy pill, it’ll give you energy.’ I didn’t think of it at the time as a bad thing or a drug.”

Hayden later told People that she had no idea that the situation was not “appropriate”, and didn’t know “what door that would open for me when it came to my addiction”.

“As I got older, the drugs and alcohol became something I almost couldn’t live without,” she explained.

After welcoming her daughter, Kaya, in 2014 with her then-partner, former boxing champion Wladimir Klitschko, Hayden’s reliance on alcohol grew even worse as she grappled with postpartum depression.

“The first thing I’d thought of when I woke up was alcohol. Not my child, not my job, and not the rest of my life. I needed a drink to function – at 6 a.m.,” she wrote in her memoir. 

The star eventually got help and entered rehab, yet made the difficult decision to give up custody of her daughter in 2018 and let her live with her dad in Ukraine.

“It was the most heartbreaking thing I’ve ever had to do in my life,” she said on Red Table Talk. 

“I was gonna go work on myself, I was gonna get better, and when I got better then things would change, and she could come to me, and I could have my time with her. But that didn’t happen.”

Hayden entered rehab again in 2020, this time staying for eight months as she dealt with severe withdrawals.

Hayden endured abuse at the hands of her on-and-off-again boyfriend, Brian Hickerson, whom she was first linked to in 2018. 

He was arrested twice following domestic violence incidents in 2019 and 2020, and sentenced to 45 days in prison in 2021 after pleading no contest to two felony counts of injuring a spouse or girlfriend.

She detailed the abuse in her memoir, writing: “The slaps became hits. One night, he busts up my face so badly I don’t leave the house for weeks.” 

Hayden shared on Instagram that she wanted to tell her story of abuse in order to help others going through similar trauma.  

“I am coming forward with the truth about what happened to me with the hope that my story will empower others in abusive relationships to get the help they need and deserve,” she wrote in 2020.

“I am prepared to do my part to make sure this man never hurts anyone again. I’m grateful for my support system, which helped me find the courage to regain my voice and my life.”

The pair remained in each other’s lives despite their history, with Hayden telling Us Weekly in 2026 that it was difficult to extract herself from the situation.

“Getting an abusive person out of your life is like trying to rip a weed out that is so entangled into your life,” she said. 

“And every time you pull it out another weed pops back up, and you’re like, I thought I killed this. They always manage to find a way to slither back in, even if you’re an incredibly strong-willed person.”

Brian and Hayden traveled together from LA to South Carolina the day before she passed away on August 16.