As we approach the end of January, many of us have either given up, quit or long forgotten about the New Year’s Resolutions we so eagerly made just weeks ago.
In fact, a whopping 88% of people who set New Year’s Resolutions fail within the first two weeks. So, if you fall into this category – know that you’re not alone.
Perhaps you were determined to get fit and eat more healthily or maybe you were planning on reading more and scrolling less. Whatever your goal was, it’s likely that you were working towards a new, shinier version of yourself. And herein lies the problem.
This obsession we have with ‘bettering’ ourselves enables us to believe that we’re not good enough as we are.
We don’t allow ourselves to feel happy and content when we’re constantly fueling the belief that we’re not enough. Not happy enough. Not busy enough. Not fit enough. The list goes on.
As a confidence and mindset coach, I’ve seen over and over again how detrimental this belief can be to self-confidence and the multitude of ways in which it can hold you back. Let’s take a look at some of the reasons why you might have given up your resolutions…
1. Your goals were unrealistic
This is easily the most common cause, especially as New Year’s Resolutions are often set in the midst of the post-Christmas slump, fueled by an indulgent period with one too many mince pies.
If you’re not feeling great about yourself (mentally and physically), it’s likely you will set goals that are unrealistic. Say hello to setting yourself up for failure.
Although it might feel boring at the time, try and hone in on what’s realistic for you. If you want to get fit, perhaps you could start with just adding some gentle daily movement into your routine.
Another common factor is not setting a resolution that aligns with your core values. If you’re striving for something that doesn’t feel inherently right for you, it won’t last. Do some work on your values, and who or what’s important to you before you try to embark on any great changes in life.
2. You failed to prepare
People often set goals without much thought of how they are going to get there.
It’s all very well saying you want to eat healthier this year, but what does that look like day-to-day? How will you implement this change into your daily routine and lifestyle? What exactly do you mean by ‘healthy’?
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Eating healthier might look very different between me and you – so what exactly does your version entail? You have to be really clear on an action plan before you try and embark on change – otherwise it’s like trying to set off to a new destination without directions!
3. Lack of accountability
Achieving a new goal or resolution takes discipline, motivation and most importantly – accountability. Making changes can be hard! Especially if you’re looking to break bad habits that have crept in and cemented themselves over long periods of time.
Having a support system from those around you will go a long way when it comes to staying on track. Let’s take drinking less as an example – you are far more likely to succeed if your partner is on board (not offering you a glass of wine at the end of the day), or if your friends know not to try and pressure you into ‘just one’ at the weekend.
If you can find someone to do it with you – even better! Habit-tracking apps can provide a great support system and help to hold you accountable.
4. You felt like you ‘should’
This is common is so many areas of our life, and often we don’t even recognise it.
How many times have you seen a fitness trend online and thought, ‘I should do that’? Or the latest fad diet is released and you think, ‘I should give it a go’.
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If you are setting goals because other people are, and you feel you should, you are almost definitely going to fail at the first hurdle. You absolutely have to be clear on your ‘why’ and your motivation, otherwise it’s too easy to give up.
Let’s use getting fit as an example. You are far more likely to succeed if your motivation is rooted in your core values. Someone who wants to get fit so that they can run around after their grandchildren and be fit enough to play with them is so much more likely to stay on track than someone who is following the latest celebrity workout.
So, as you set your goals, be careful to get to the root of your ‘why’ to give you the best chance of success.
5. Chasing perfection
One more thing – don’t be so hard on yourself! One small slip-up doesn’t have to mean you have to quit entirely.
Try to focus on consistency, not perfection. Remember that small steps are better than no steps. Creating new habits and being disciplined isn’t easy, and you’re not going to get it right 100% of the time. Give yourself some grace for error and just try and do better next time. Chasing perfection will get you nowhere.
If you’re struggling to set goals and stick to them, don’t be afraid to ask for help. There’s a lot of groundwork you can do behind the scenes to ensure your goals are aligned with your values, sustainable – and most importantly, realistic!
I offer a free 45-min consultation to anyone wanting to find out more about coaching and how it works. Book your free session here.
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