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The Office has long been one of my favorite feel-good watches, and I know I’m not alone — 20 years after it premiered, it remains a streaming superhit, popular with new audiences every year.
A friend of mine practically harassed me into watching the show back in 2018 because she deemed it must-watch TV for millennial entertainment journalists. And though I was 13 years late to the party at that point, I obliged and was immediately hooked. Between Michael Scott’s tone-deaf statements, Dwight Schrute’s beet obsession, Angela Martin’s uptight quips and, of course, Jim Halpert’s deadpan camera expressions, I couldn’t stop watching.
The show was so influential for me that one of the first projects I did when I attended film school that spring was inspired by the mockumentary series. “Diversity Day” remains one of the most outrageously funny things I’ve seen on TV (and I know standards were different back then, but I can’t believe the episode was ever aired).
Like any first-time watcher, I was all-in on the Jim and Pam office romance. The will-they, won’t-they beginnings of their relationship had me side-eyeing every boyfriend who never got me a teapot filled with my favorite things for Christmas. And when he burst into her confessional in season 3 and finally asked her out, I shed some real tears. It was that serious.
On first watch, Jim and Pam’s relationship was sweet. He dreamed up so many romantic gestures to court the shy, seemingly unsure of herself receptionist, and I thought to myself, “Yes, Pam deserves.” That was at first watch.
In the years since, though, I’ve come to believe Pam might not be the unassuming, sweetheart I thought she was. In fact, the more I watch, the more I’m convinced she might have been the villain, low-key.
Let’s take, for example, her relationship with Roy. Now, I’m not going to defend Roy as though he was the perfect boyfriend. He was aloof, inattentive and neglectful, and he never “got” her; the episode where he promises to give her “the best sex of her life” as a Valentine’s Day gift is still so infuriating.
Still, I venture to say that if Pam wasn’t happy with the relationship, she should have left. Instead, because of her indecisive and — if we’re honest — self-serving tendencies, she not only strung Roy along, but she roped Jim into her mess as well.
And while some might argue that it can be hard to navigate conflicting romantic feelings, if she was in that much turmoil, she should have let go of both men and stayed single until she figured out what she wanted for herself. Instead, she managed to wreck two relationships — hers as well as Jim and Karen’s, break four hearts in the process and literally almost get Jim punched in the face. Diabolical.
The worst Pam moment for me comes in season 7, in which Timothy Olyphant joins the office as Danny Corday (Pam’s former fling, whom she dated when Jim went to Stamford and got with Karen).
In the episode, we find out that Pam and Danny had gone on two dates, and though the dates went well from Pam’s vantage point, Danny wound up ghosting her. To quiet office buzz, Jim and Pam have a conversation with Danny in which the ghosting issue comes up and Danny, clearly uncomfortable, tries to sidestep the question.
That’s not where it ended, though. Jim and Pam become so obsessed with finding out why he never called her that not only does Jim corner him in the office kitchen, but then the two of them wait for Danny outside the bathroom (!) and essentially force him to spill the beans. Danny, still trying to be polite about the whole thing, finally breaks and reveals he never called because he felt Pam was “a little dorky.”
The most absurd thing about it was the fact that the revelation hurt her feelings and Jim — who had expressed he wasn’t a big Halloween costume fan — had to wear a Popeye Halloween costume just to make her feel better.
The scenario was also exemplary of Pam’s codependent behavior. She could never stand on her own and was constantly in search of outside validation, and when she didn’t get it, other people appeared to be the villains.
Her entire relationship with Jim, endearing as it was, sometimes felt like it was always about making sure she was okay. If you’ve been married for two years and you have a baby with the supposed love of your life, why does it matter if some two-date guy from four years ago never called you back?
But her romantic relationships were not the only place where Pam’s villainous side appeared; she had some dark career moments as well. In season 5, she left Dunder Mifflin to be part of the Michael Scott Paper Company along with Ryan.
The short-lived company was successful enough that eventually, Dunder Mifflin bought them and Pam came back as a salesperson. In typical Pam fashion, she turned out to be a not-so-great saleswoman and when she saw there was an opportunity to become office administrator, she swindled her way to a new title and a new pay raise.
What’s irksome about this storyline wasn’t the way she went about it. After all, Dunder Mifflin had really unserious office culture — plus, she was a working mother with a mortgage and bills that needed to be paid. What was problematic for me was that when Gabe asked about the fact that the office manager position seemed to be something she had invented, she strong-armed him into giving it to her.
Gabe, who was timid, awkward and a clear pariah in that environment, was put in a position where he either confronted the office darling or gave into her will. He chose the latter. She could have easily just said there was a clear need and she was a clear fit, but because she couldn’t rely on her own merit, she chose to use intimidation.
For avid Office watchers, season 9 Pam was perhaps the worst version of Pam. It was a showcase of just how dependent she was on Jim’s presence — and how little she reciprocated — that when he needed her to be the emotional touchstone of their relationship, she faltered.
To summarize, Jim was splitting his time between Dunder Mifflin in Scranton while trying to get his sports start-up off the ground in Philadelphia. Should he have maybe planned it better so that Pam wasn’t stuck at home with two kids? Sure! But at the same time, she also should have been a bit more understanding about the fact that he wanted to expand his abilities with a new role that would hopefully benefit their family in the end. At moments, it felt like she was making the situation hard because he was successfully pursuing his dreams, whereas she had flunked at anything new she tried.
Pam’s ire seemed to stem from not being a person in her own right. And though we can dissect her flaws all day, the character does give a good lesson about emotional and physical comfort zones, how it’s important to break them and how complacency can also create havoc.
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In her final confessional on the show, it seems even she agreed that she could have been more proactive in her decision-making. “It took me so long to do so many important things,” she says. It’s just hard to accept that I spent so many years being less happy than I could have been.”
I couldn’t rightfully finish this article without giving props to the Emmy-nominated Jenna Fischer, who played Pam so expertly. The fact that we all gloss over so many of Pam’s self-righteous and exasperating tendencies is truly a testament to Fischer’s lovable portrayal of the character. I think the reason why Pam is so triggering for many of us is because she reminds us of someone we know — a friend, sister, a cousin — who just can’t take accountability for their own lives.
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