A man says that his girlfriend is mad he’s going on a work trip without her — but he’s not so sure he did anything wrong.
The 25-year-old detailed his story on the popular Reddit forum “Am I the A——?” in order to get input and advice from his fellow Redditors. In the post, the man explains that he and his 24-year-old girlfriend work remotely for the same company. However, he says that while he is interested in making the most of the opportunity and eventually moving ahead, his girlfriend has “no desire in doing more than necessary to get the minimum raise each year.” He also says that she “is living with her parents” and is “deeply in debt” due to overspending on non-essentials.
The Reddit user then goes on to explain that he “recently came up with some money” and wants to use it to travel to Canada in order to visit his company and network in person.
“[It] is something [I’m] really excited about,” he added.
However, the man says that when he told his girlfriend about his plan, “she began crying” and claimed he didn’t “care about her.” He also says she insisted that “couples should have trips together or not at all.”
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The original poster (OP) says that he ultimately told his girlfriend he was “sorry about hurting her,” but he doesn’t feel the same way about solo travel. He also said that while he often helps her out financially, he cannot afford to pay for both of them to go on this trip.
“AITA? [Am I the a——?]” he concludes his post.
The man’s fellow Redditors were quick to assure him that he should not feel guilty about taking a work trip — or any trip — without his significant other.
“NTA [not the a——],” wrote one commenter. “You are an adult, and a separate entity from her. You are allowed to travel alone wherever and whenever you want. Plus, you have catered to her financially more than is necessary. You are her boyfriend, not a parent who has to cater to her every need and not go anywhere without her.”
“NTA. I’ve been with my partner for 19 years and we travel separately often, even if it’s just a weekend away to visit family. All or nothing is not a healthy way to maintain a relationship,” added someone else.
Another person recommended that the OP think long and hard about whether his girlfriend is the right partner for him and his long-term goals.
“NTA [not the a——],” they wrote, adding, “Your girlfriend is immature and sounds insufferable. This is a work trip, not a social one for you and will help with your career. I don’t know how long you’ve been dating but this is a huge red flag. Not to mention that she can’t [even] budget her money […]. Go on the business trip and rethink your relationship while you’re away.”
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