Kitty Menéndez’s sister, Joan VanderMolen, supports Erik and Lyle Menéndez — and a rare tell-all offered a surprising glimpse into the family dynamics since the brothers’ high-profile murder trial.
VanderMolen, 92, spoke with Vanity Fair on Friday, October 11, after Erik and Lyle received a new hearing in their case. Kitty’s sister wanted to make it clear that she is standing by Erik and Lyle no matter what.
“They didn’t deserve any of this,” VanderMolen said. “They were used and abused and there seems to be no end to it.”
Erik and Lyle are both currently serving out their sentences of life without parole in California’s Donovan Correctional Facility after being arrested in 1990 on two counts of first-degree murder. They became persons of interest after their parents, Kitty and José Menéndez, were found shot in their home.
“Kitty should have left José long before [the murders]. The boys tried to get her to leave and they promised her they would take care of her and everything,” VanderMolen claimed. “[That was] all through their childhood when they were being mistreated. Kitty was beside herself half the time. They said that they wanted her to leave him and said they would take care of her and she just didn’t want to do that, or didn’t think she could. Maybe, I don’t know, she saw him as a livelihood.”
After their arrest, Erik and Lyle admitted to killing their parents following years of alleged physical, emotional and sexual abuse. They were ultimately found guilty of first-degree murder and sentenced to life without parole in 1996 after two high-profile trials. While their prior attempts to appeal the decision were denied, recent projects such as Monsters, The Menéndez Brothers and more have seemingly offered the siblings another chance at a resentencing.
VanderMolen took part in Netflix’s The Menéndez Brothers documentary as a way to help her nephews.
“I’ll do what I can to help. I wanna get that straight because there’s nothing I wouldn’t do, nothing. It’s just unreal that they’ve been in there 35 years. It’s unconscionable. The whole family feels this way,” she continued. “We’re just trying to hold on and do what we can to help them. Which isn’t much at this point. They’re in the hands of the law. I hope the law gets it figured out.”
The Menéndez brothers recently got the chance to share their perspective three decades after they were originally arrested.
“I do worry and I think it is important that the seriousness of my crime not be minimized or diminished,” Erik said in Netflix’s The Menéndez Brothers documentary, which was released on October 7. “I went to the only person that had ever helped me and that had ever protected me. Then ultimately this happened because of me. Because I went to him. Then afterwards, he was arrested because of me. Because I couldn’t live with what I did, I couldn’t. I wanted to die. In a way, I did not protect Lyle. I got him into every aspect of this tragedy. Every aspect of this tragedy is my fault.”
His older brother, meanwhile, got emotional about not being able to protect their family.
“For me, I never could escape that night. That night just floods back into your mind a lot,” Lyle noted in the doc. “I never found understanding. I sometimes feel like I rescued Erik. But did I? Look at his life now. It feels impossible that I couldn’t do better. I couldn’t rescue all of us.”
In addition to defending Erik and Lyle, VanderMolen took Us by surprise when she threw shade at her and Kitty’s brother Milton, who has had a different public perspective on the case. She also offered an update on how Erik still faces trauma from the alleged sexual abuse by his father.
Keep scrolling for the most surprising details from VanderMolen’s tell-all:
Kitty’s Sister Has Supported Erik and Lyle From the Beginning
“Of course [I am on their side]. I have been for a long time. Since day one,” VanderMolen told Vanity Fair. “It’s always difficult [to talk about Erik and Lyle]. I care so much about them. I’m shook up right now thinking about it.”
VanderMolen also discussed how she has remained in contact with Erik and Lyle.
“They’re hopeful. That’s all I can say is hopeful. We all are. I could cry just thinking about all the years that have gone on, and there they are,” VanderMolen, who spoke to her nephews “last week,” added. “Oh, [we speak] regularly. Weekly.”
Kitty’s sister noted there was never a time her family didn’t stick by the Menéndez brothers despite the backlash, adding, “I don’t think we ever didn’t support them. We just didn’t think it was gonna be a lifetime like this. We thought they’d have an honest trial and that the truth would come out and that’d be the end of it. But it didn’t happen.”
VanderMolen wanted her rare comments to shine a light on Erik and Lyle’s true nature. “They’ve done remarkably well,” she continued. “You can’t find better people not just in prison but anywhere.”
How Erik’s Trauma Has Continued
VanderMolen expressed frustration with Kitty for not leaving José before her death.
“[Erik and Lyle] tried so hard to get her to leave him, and this is the result. I don’t know what else to say. She was behind everything Jose did and she knew what was going on. And how could you not [do something]?” she said. “It makes me sick that Erik — that anybody had to go through that.”
According to VanderMolen, Erik’s trauma from José’s alleged sexual abuse hasn’t dissipated since his arrest.
“We went to visit my dad, who lived in Texas. Kitty and I and her boys went to visit. And my dad experienced something from Erik that he’d never seen before,” she recalled about a moment when Erik was a child. “We had a table that fit all of us, and Erik simply refused to eat unless he had lemon. And my dad could not fathom what the problem was. No matter what my dad did or said it didn’t change: He had to have lemon. And it turns out that he was being assaulted by his dad, and I don’t know how to phrase it other than by being vulgar, but would cum in his mouth and make Erik swallow it.”
VanderMolen said “to this day” Erik “has to have” a lemon with his meal.
“That was so ingrained in him. He couldn’t enjoy a meal without his lemon because of the assaults. You don’t get over something like that. He still needs lemon with his meals. It’s a habit now,” she continued. “I don’t know how much my sister knew but when I realized what was going on, it was pretty awful.”
Her Brother Milton’s Lack of Support for Erik and Lyle
VanderMolen didn’t hold back after being asked about her brother’s lack of support for Erik and Lyle, saying, “Yes, [he isn’t on their side], and now they name a hurricane after him. That’s almost a joke, isn’t it?”
She continued: “He was [in The New York Times] last year because he said that none of [the abuse] was true. And I thought, you know, ‘You’re a real asshole.’ I can’t abide that. And it makes no sense whatsoever. He didn’t have a loving, caring father. He never did.”
VanderMolen concluded by confirming she is no longer in touch with Milton.
“He used to call me once in a while and I finally explained to him, ‘I can’t talk to you,’” she recalled. “And I’m sorry. I hurt for him.”
Joan’s Knowledge of the Abuse — And Whether She Spoke With Kitty About It
VanderMolen admitted to knowing about José’s alleged abuse before his death because her daughters, Diane and Kathleen, heard stories from their cousins.
“My daughter saw things she should never have had to see. The way they were treated,” she explained. “Kitty and I were on the phone weekly for hours at a time, but it was just sisterhood and we never ever went beyond that. We shared recipes and different stuff, but never about this. I never brought it up. I knew it wouldn’t go anywhere because José ruled the roost. He was like that.”
VanderMolen thought Kitty didn’t leave José because there was “a lot to be gained by sticking by your man.”
“Besides the charm and the money, she had ambitions and he helped to fulfill them,” she noted. “My family wasn’t pleased when they got married. They didn’t think she knew him well enough or was accustomed to his ways.”
According to VanderMolen, Kitty “didn’t listen” to concerns from family members, adding, “The few times I visited and when my daughter visited, Kitty was getting more ill and nervous as the years went by. She was breaking dishes and glasses because of her frustration. My daughters experienced that in spades. Diane stayed a longer time and witnessed more of it, and she’s the one that told Kitty that Lyle’s father was abusing him. But she didn’t believe it. She took Lyle right upstairs to his dad so he could do what he wanted.”
How Kitty’s Sister Bonded With Menendez Attorney Leslie Abramson
Erik and Lyle’s case initially ended in a mistrial after the jury was unable to reach a unanimous decision. A retrial began in 1995, but the prosecution successfully objected to most of the evidence surrounding the abuse, which meant Erik and Lyle — who were now being tried together — needed to present a new defense.
“That doesn’t even say how I felt when the second trial came along and there was no defense whatsoever that would be allowed. There was no trial at all. Everything their lawyer said was shut dry down,” VanderMolen recalled. “[Leslie Abramson] couldn’t get anything [admitted into evidence]. It was like the abuse never happened. It wasn’t fair at all. I don’t know how the jury reached a verdict after a trial so nuts.”
VanderMolen had nothing but praise for Abramson, adding, “I just told her the job she was doing was superb. … I just told her I loved her and she told me she loved me back. That’s all. She’s a terrific lady, and she did the best she could and then some with no recognition whatsoever by the court.”
Abramson, who no longer represents the brothers, released a statement after the renewed support in their case. “Thirty years is a long time. I would like to leave the past in the past,” she told the Netflix doc. “No amount of media, nor teenage petitions, will alter the fate of these clients. Only the courts can do that and they have ruled.”
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