Kate Hudson and Goldie Hawn’s parenting styles couldn’t be more different

Kate Hudson and her mother, Goldie Hawn, are clearly cut from the same cloth: they both possess golden blonde locks and magnetic charm, and have enjoyed successful careers in Hollywood. And yet, their parenting philosophies couldn’t be more different.

While Goldie employed a laid-back approach to raising her kids, Kate now embraces a more structured style that her mother once likened to “Attila the Hun”. 

Despite their differences, they share a special bond and fiercely protect their children’s independence and spirit.

Join HELLO! as we explore the mother-daughter duo’s contrasting parenting styles.  

Goldie’s gentle guidance vs Kate’s firm structure

Kate is a loving mother to three kids: Ryder, 21, whom she shares with her ex-husband, Chris Robinson; Bingham, 13, whom she shares with her ex-fiancé, Matt Bellamy; and Rani, six, whom she welcomed with her current fiancé, Danny Fujikawa.

While Goldie prefers a more laid-back approach to parenting, she described Kate as “Attila the Hun” with her kids; however, the veteran actress could get her message across when she wanted to. “I’m more lenient, like way more lenient,” Goldie told People; “I’m so strict,” her daughter chimed in.

“You were strict when you needed to be. You were honest,” Kate continued.

Goldie revealed that while she would get angry over bad behavior, she would never discipline her kids for their mistakes. She went on to call Kate’s parenting style “very structured”, laughing that she draws her “roadmaps very firmly.” 

Embracing the blended family

One thing the pair do have in common is that they both have blended families, which trickles down into their parenting styles. Kate has three children with three men, yet she is still close to her exes and has turned co-parenting into an art.

“It might not look traditional from the outside, but on the inside, I feel like we’re killing it,” she told The Sunday Times. “The unit that I’ve created with three children with three different fathers is a seriously strong unit, and it’s ours.”

“For me, it’s like, you loved this person. That doesn’t just go away, but you can re-establish a different kind of love,” she explained of her children’s fathers. “You can have an amazing time with an ex-partner because you’re really only focused on the love of your child.”

Goldie’s blended family is the textbook definition of healthy, as all members share a close bond. The Overboard star welcomed Oliver and Kate with her husband, Bill Hudson; the pair sadly divorced when their kids were just toddlers.

Then she met Kurt Russell, who would become her life partner; they welcomed a child, Wyatt, in 1986. Kurt already had one son with his ex-wife, Boston Russell, rounding out their beautiful blended family. 

On raising strong women

Goldie and Kate have both experienced the ups and downs of raising girls, with the duo agreeing on one thing: that a parent must sit back and let them learn for themselves without trying to mold them into a mini-me.

“It’s learning to let go,” the 79-year-old told People. “I think a lot of mothers, particularly with their girls, feel helpless when you don’t think you’re needed anymore.”

“It’s just a phase,” she continued. “There’s an individuation, and then there’s a period of time when we come back together again.”

As for Kate, she is letting her daughter Rani take the reins when it comes to finding her own identity. “I think you just raise your kids individually regardless – like a genderless [approach],” she said in an AOL interview.

“We still don’t know what she’s going to identify as,” she continued. “I will say that, right now, she is incredibly feminine in her energy, her sounds, and her way. It’s very different from the boys, and it’s really fun to actually want to buy kids’ clothes.”

Ultimately, giving her daughter freedom is the most important thing for Kate. “That is, to me, where contentment and happiness lie,” she explained. “Not feeling tied down. Being okay saying, ‘No.’ Feeling secure and safe in yourself and your family and your relationship. When you create that safe haven, nothing else really matters.” 

Goldie’s most important message for Kate was to avoid projecting her own personality onto her daughter. She explained to the Fool’s Gold actress that Kate’s kids are “not you…and you’re not me. And that is the one thing that we have to remember.”

“Mom’s like, ‘Because the second they leave your body, they don’t belong to you anymore’,” Kate added in the People interview. “I think that was the most powerful thing you’ve ever said to me.”

The next generation

Goldie is a loving grandmother to her eight grandchildren, but it was hard for her not to overstep and offer unsolicited parenting advice to Kate, Oliver and Wyatt when they welcomed their kids. 

“It’s an unbelievable weave that starts to happen when your children start to have children,” she told People. “But they’re the parents. And what one has to be careful is that we don’t want to be a horn that’s always saying, ‘Why’d you do that?’ and, ‘They should do this,’ and whatever. So Kurt and I give them full autonomy.”

Instead, the Oscar winner sits back and offers her grandkids a shoulder to cry on. “I do love being a grandmother, but I’m not the boss. I’m just the one that can deliver happiness to them and also an ear if they need it,” she said.

Ultimately, the mother of three has loved watching their individual parenting styles bloom. “Kurt and I are so proud,” she said on the Today show. “They’re mirroring a lot of the way they were raised, and that just shows you how important it is to raise your kids well ’cause they will raise their kids well.”