In-Laws Disinvite Couple from Christmas Day Celebration After They Ask to Split the Holiday Between Families

A man is seeking advice after his in-laws disinvited him from their Christmas Day gathering over his desire to spend Christmas Eve with his own parents.

In a since-deleted Reddit post, the 30-year-old man says his wife originally agreed to spend Christmas Eve with his family before heading to her parents’ house on Christmas Day. However, the in-laws, whom he named Greg and Linda, were not pleased with the arrangement. 

“Linda calls my wife and tells her that ‘she’s really disappointed’ that we were planning to spend Christmas Eve with my family,” he writes. “She implied that it would cause a lot of tension, especially with other relatives, and that we ‘shouldn’t split the holiday.’ ”

The husband, frustrated by what he saw as an unfair demand, refused to comply. He argued that it was unreasonable for his in-laws to dictate their plans, especially since they’ve “always managed to compromise” in the past, as he writes.

“I’ve always been understanding of her family’s tradition,” he explains, “but this felt like an ultimatum I couldn’t accept.” Despite his attempts to meet in the middle, Linda and Greg stood firm, ultimately rescinding their Christmas Day invitation all together and saying the couple can’t “pick and choose” who to spend the holidays with. 

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The fallout has left tensions high between husband and wife. The wife feels her husband’s refusal “caused unnecessary conflict and made things harder for her,” while he feels hurt by her parents’ lack of respect for his own family’s traditions, he shares.

Since expressing his concerns on Reddit, many users have empathized with the husband. “Christmas Eve in one place and Christmas Day in another is perfectly reasonable and a standard arrangement,” writes one user. “This is absolutely not fair on your parents. Your wife needs to understand that.”

“It’s not fair for your in-laws to dictate your plans like that, especially when you were trying to find a balance. You’re standing up for your family’s right to be included too, which is important,” writes another. 

A third notes the husband’s wife should stick up for him more, writing, “You and your wife both have families you want to spend time with. Your wife needs to stand up to them. If she doesn’t stand up to them you’ll have this every year.”