Heather Gay says she is not the same person Real Housewives of Salt Lake City viewers first met when the show premiered in November 2020.
Nearly four years after her Bravo debut, the reality star reflects on how the series has transformed her life in a wide-ranging chat with PEOPLE.
“Oh, I’ve completely changed,” Gay, 50, says, noting that living her life out loud on television — and then watching it back — has ultimately been therapeutic. “I’ve unburdened myself from a lot of heavy baggage I’d been carrying for years, from my life before. And it’s allowed me to really evolve, not just as a woman, but also as a mother.”
Gay — who is mom to daughters Annabelle, 21, Georgia, 18, and Ashley, 17 — spent four-and-a-half decades as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints before walking away in 2019, the same year Bravo announced they launch of RHOSLC.
“I never imagined the show would take off like it did. When we filmed our sizzle reel, I thought it was going to be for a local production,” she recalls. “I just didn’t think it had legs to go this far, and never dared to hope that it would go beyond what was just right in front of me.”
But the show did take off and over the years, so too has Gay. Her business, Beauty Lab + Laser, is thriving. Her confidence, especially in her friendship circle, is stronger than ever. She’s had a recent glow-up, including a 25-lb. weight loss (“Thanks, Ozempic!” she laughs). And in December, Gay’s second memoir — Good Time Girl — will be published, the release following her New York Times best seller, Bad Mormon.
“It’s an exciting time,” Gay tells PEOPLE. “And I’m no fool; I know none of this would have been possible if it weren’t for Housewives.”
Bravo, however, can only get one so far. Gay has had to do the hard stuff by herself: that internal work.
At lot of it started when she and her ex-husband, Bill, split after 11 years of marriage in 2011. Distancing herself from the Mormon church was a slow process over the next decade, but brick by brick she became more comfortable pushing those boundaries until she was ready to embrace the person she’s become now.
“I feel really empowered now,” she says. “When I first started Housewives, feminism and girl power used to make me uncomfortable because I was just from such a deeply patriarchal culture. I feel like, now, I’m totally a feminist.”
That’s also helped Gay become a better mother, she says.
“My relationship with my daughters has never been stronger,” Gay shares. “Before I felt bound by just the way I was raised, and the expectations of my culture and community. Now, I get to be the mom I always wanted to be. We have this new freedom.”
The kids feel it, too. “We’ll all four be together, the three girls and I, just enjoying each other, out loud expressing gratitude for how happy we are and how much we love our life,” says Gay. “And in those moments, I just feel like it’s all worth it.”
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Being on reality TV comes with its challenges, especially in the Real Housewives franchise. You’re not just experiencing the conflict in your personal life, but in the court of public opinion, too. Viewers will always have an opinion about you, and good or bad, aren’t afraid to share it directly to you on social media.
But Gay, overall, sees the big picture. “I feel like the happiest girl on earth,” she says. “All of my dreams have come true, and shattered this glass ceiling I had about where my happiness could be.”
“Who could have ever expected Housewives to bring me that?”
The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City airs Wednesdays at 9 p.m. ET on Bravo.
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