Heather Dubrow may hold her fellow Real Housewives of Orange County castmates to the highest of standards, but when it comes to her kids, she’s much more relaxed.
The reality star shares four children with her longtime husband, plastic surgeon and Botched star Terry Dubrow. The couple has chronicled much of their kids’ upbringing on RHOC, with many fans praising Heather’s open approach to parenting — including Rihanna.
“[I] just love the way that she just allows her kids to be who they are,” the singer told Elle of Heather in 2022. “And that’s really inspiring to me.”
Over the years, Heather has supported her children through thick and thin. When her eldest daughter Max came out as bisexual in June 2020, Heather shared how proud she was of her. “Whatever I can do to support them, and in this case Max, I’m in,” the RHOC star told PEOPLE. “So there’s nothing she could tell me that would upset me.”
When her daughter Kat came out as a lesbian one year later, Heather was just as supportive. “We’ve got four kids, they are different genders, different sexualities, and all at interesting places in their lives, figuring out who they are and where they belong as humans,” she said.
In March 2023, Heather shared that her youngest child had come out as transgender and goes by the name Ace. To mark International Sons Day, she posted a picture of a beach with “Ace” written in the sand with the caption, “We love you, our youngest son, Ace ❤️.”
Heather’s desire to share their stories and spark discussion played a part in her desire to return to RHOC after leaving in season 11. “I felt like our purpose is to keep those conversations going in other families,” she explained.
On a September 2024 episode of RHOC, Heather said that having access to “more inclusive opportunities” for her LGBTQ+ children was a big reason her family chose to move to Los Angeles from Orange County.
“If your child deviates from the norm, it’s a rough road,” she said. “Having four kids of different genders and different sexualities, Terry and I want to set them up for success when they leave the house.”
Here’s everything to know about Heather Dubrow’s four kids: Max, Nick, Kat and Ace.
Max Dubrow, 21
Maximillia “Max” Beatrix Dubrow was born on Nov. 24, 2003, along with her twin brother Nick. In 2016, Heather told Bravo’s The Daily Dish that she named Max after her own grandmother.
Max graduated from high school in 2022 and began studying at Boston’s Tufts University in August. Her proud mom helped her move into the dorms.
“I love you my baby girl, you’re starting the most incredible adventure,” Heather captioned a photo of Max in her new dorm room. “I’m so proud of you – enjoy every moment, take advantage of every opportunity!!! I love you so much !!! You may be far from home, but you are always close in my heart ❤️.”
In 2020, when she was 17 years old, Max came out as bisexual. “I always knew I was bi, I just thought it was bipolar,” she joked on Instagram.
Max has been open about her journey in embracing her sexuality. In 2021, she published an advice book called I’ll Give It To You Straight-ish, based on her podcast of the same name, to give parents insight on how to handle their teen coming out. Max had a relatively easy time coming out to her family — an experience which inspired her to write the book.
“Their responses were really easy and really nice and funny and very nonchalant,” Max recalled. “I’m very grateful for that because it shouldn’t be a big thing, but it is. … Them kind of making it a more normal thing was really good.”
In 2020, Max auditioned for American Idol, and her mom was happy to brag about her daughter’s talents. “Watching my daughter @maxdubrow CRUSH her @americanidol audition!” Heather wrote on Instagram.
The proud mom also shared footage of Max singing in a holiday show in 2016. The next year, Max performed with the heavy metal band Quiet Riot, paying tribute to her late uncle Kevin DuBrow with the band he founded in the ’70s. “Wow. this was an amazing night. i love u kevin, hope i made you proud,” she wrote.
Nick Dubrow, 21
Heather and Terry welcomed their son Nicholas “Nick” Kent Dubrow on Nov. 24, 2003. His middle name, Kent, is his mother’s maiden name. “I only have a sister, so I thought to keep it alive, we’ll give him the middle name Kent,” Heather told The Daily Dish.
In 2022, Nick graduated from high school and started college at Loyola Marymount University in Los Angeles, where his mom helped him move into his dorm. “And just like that… my first born is off to college 😭😭😭,” Heather captioned a photo of Nick in his neatly organized room.
Prior to Nick and Max departing for college, Heather and the twins permanently cemented their close bond with matching tattoos: a dash and two dots on their middle fingers. Nick clarified in his Instagram comments that the tattoos were Morse code for the letter “D” for Dubrow, according to Bravo.
Although Nick doesn’t post often on Instagram, he has shared a few sweet snaps with his family, including multiple photos with his twin sister. “Are you identical?” he captioned a photo of him and Max in July 2022.
Heather also regularly shares photos of Max and his siblings on her own profile. In December 2022, she celebrated her twins coming home for the holidays with a series of carousel posts from their family festivities — including one adorable photo of the bunch wearing matching Christmas pajamas.
Kat Dubrow, 18
Heather’s middle child, Katarina “Kat” Alexandra Dubrow, was born on Oct. 5, 2006.
When she was 14 years old, Kat came out as a lesbian to her family. She shared the news publicly the next year, ahead of an RHOC episode that would address her coming out.
Kat credited her older sister Max for paving the way to make her own coming out easier. “I was really stressed about [sharing the news on TV],” she said. “But I’m really grateful that I have Max as an older sister, that she has already gone through all of this. Seeing my sister be so proud, and to see her be so comfortable with herself, it just makes me feel like I have nothing to worry about.”
The middle Dubrow child was comfortable sharing the news with her family, though — in fact, she was incredibly nonchalant. “Kat decided to drop in our family group text, ‘By the way, I’m a lesbian,’ ” Heather recalled to PEOPLE in February 2022. “I didn’t see it, and I was mad because the dogs pooped in the house, so I wrote back, ‘Who let the dogs poop in the house?’ It was a total mom fail, and they’ve never let me forget that.”
But despite her initial mishap, Heather made it a point to support Kat.
“All I cared about was creating an environment where they all felt safe, comfortable, happy,” Heather said.
On Kat’s 16th birthday in October 2022, Heather celebrated her daughter with a series of throwback photos on Instagram.
“Cheers to the cutest, best, funniest,sweetest, smartest 16 year old,” she wrote in the caption. “I love you so much and I’m so Proud to be your Mommy !!!!”
In June 2023, Heather dropped Kat off at a summer program in Chicago.
“Just left my baby for 5 weeks,” the reality star captioned a selfie with Kat in her dorm room.
Ace Dubrow, 13
Heather and Terry’s youngest child, Ace, was born on Dec. 13, 2010.
When Ace was only 9 months old, Heather joined the cast of RHOC in 2011. She later left the show in 2016 and returned in 2021, when Ace was 11.
In early March 2023, Heather shared an update about her now-13-year-old on Instagram, announcing that her youngest had come out as transgender.
“Our job as parents is to give our kids a safe and supportive environment so they can grow up as healthy, happy, confident, independent humans. Since Ace is a 12 year old child, with a long life ahead of him – we will let him tell his own story someday if he chooses to do so,” Heather wrote alongside a photo of “Ace” written in sand. “All we can say is Ace, we love you so much and we are proud to be your parents. Your brother and sisters love and support you too ❤️.”
Her husband Terry added in the comments, “Thank you all for spreading the love.”
On an episode of Let’s Talk with Heather Dubrow, which aired on March 9, 2023, the mom-of-four discussed the decision to publicly announce Ace’s coming out.
“The goal was to acknowledge who our incredible son is and show how much we love and support our child. We’re not hiding our son but trying to protect him from the world, as all parents want to do,” Heather said. “So even though I don’t want to tell my children’s stories for them — and I never have, nor will I ever — something had to be said by us before someone else made a statement.”
Two months later, Heather opened up to PEOPLE about how her family can “affect change in other people’s families” after Ace’s transition. She said that she received “messages of people who were estranged from their family” who “got so much from us telling our story.”
“Now, the messages of love and hope and support are incredible,” the proud mom continued. “So we just hope to keep moving in that direction and start as many conversations in other people’s families as we can.”
Heather and Terry had previously spoken about their youngest child to PEOPLE in February 2022. The proud dad said the pre-teen has “always been incredibly strong-willed” and called Ace a “very complex, layered person.”
Ace is “going through a lot of self-exploration right now,” Terry added at the time.
Heather also discussed the labels people gave her child, saying, “Everyone always looked at [Ace] because [Ace] dresses ‘like a boy’, which, I hate those kinds of labels. It’s clothing. Clothing should just be clothing at this point.”
“Billy Porter wears a gorgeous gown down the runway. He looks phenomenal. What does it matter what we’re wearing?” she continued, adding Ace “is a very cool kid.”
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