Social media often tells us to “eat the rich.” Yet, no matter where you stand on Jeff Bezos’ relationship with Anna Wintour, or Mark Zuckerberg’s latest political rebranding, we can’t help but want to peek behind the curtain of the wealthy – be it out of disapproval or sheer curiosity. That’s where The Gstaad Guy steps in.
The internet’s sassiest arbiter of taste is a looking glass into the high life. You’ll have likely witnessed his two beloved yet contrasting personalities crop up on your social media feed. There’s Loro Piana-clad Constance: an authority on Les 3 Vallées’ dining circuit and a staunch Dubai detractor. Then cousin Colton, the Silverlake-dwelling Chrome Hearts devotee – a ‘steezy’ embodiment of nouveau riche excess, much to Constance’s permanently grimacing dismay.
With his finely-honed personas that playfully punch up, both celebrating and parodying the affluent, Gstaad Guy has garnered a loyal online following – which just so happens to boast the highest concentration of billionaires in the world. Regardless, everyone is allowed to join in on the fun, as the etiquette veteran’s hashtag #ItsAllFamily and Gen Z-approved charm-based jewellery brand Poubel suggests.
Despite Constance’s open disdain for the antichic, The Gstaad Guy (who famously prefers to keep his real name private) approaches his subjects without sharp judgment. “What I enjoy the most is actually the more wholesome side of what I’m exposed to from the career, which is going to these beautiful destinations and seeing generations of families share these beautiful passions and values and enjoy things together,” the social chameleon says, in what could be described as a soft International School accent. “I think there’s so much beauty to that. In The Gstaad Guy universe, there is a lot of affluence. People have lots more time on their hands and more resources to be able to do amazing things with their families. That’s the wholesome, beautiful side. I’ll go to Gstaad or St. Moritz and see great-grandparents, grandparents, parents, kids, and grandkids playing tennis as a family and having a laugh. What a beautiful thing to observe and strive for. That can inspire some content, but really it’s more inspiring for the soul.”
Yet, it’s not all Von Trapp-style family dynamics and idyllic alpine frolicking – the creative is just as fluent in the brash chaos of new money: “The evenings…that’s an environment I really don’t like to hang around in because with great privilege often comes ego. Mix ego and alcohol in the evening and you have this milkshake of disaster.”
As someone who has been around her fair share of gilet-swaddled, signet-ringed men (quelle horreur), I could not empathise more: “I’m basically budgeting the minutes, thinking ‘Okay, five more minutes will mean five more videos, let me get in, get out of here and go home.’ You have to trade your sanity to be in those environments sometimes.”
© AlignFunnily enough, Gstaad Guy’s work is inherently journalistic. Despite joking that his height makes it rather difficult to be a fly on the wall (he stands at a stunning 6’7), the London-born humorist has found the sweet spot between partaking in the hoypoloi of the wealthy and wittily relaying his observations to the masses. Hence, from his position on the periphery, he’s become something of an expert in luxury itself, in the way that an academic might translate a niche corner of scholarship to a lecture theatre.
But make no mistake: he’s not here to tell you that money doesn’t actually equate happiness. “All the sorts of privileges that I’m exposed to thanks to this account are massively amplified by finances. The unlock that the finances provide, the time that people can have as a result, the freedom of travel and being with people they love is an undeniable truth,” he adds candidly. “There is such a playbook, it’s actually kind of ridiculous. People make a bit of money and then go to the exact same beach clubs that are copy-pasted around the world and have a burrata, calamari, and caviar and they think ‘Okay, this is the blueprint of I made it.’ Eventually they’ll realise they don’t like that and there’s actually this one sport, passion or destination they love so much more. That playbook has so much beauty in it when that discovery is made.”
With a background in tech and a CV including stints at Apple, it comes as little surprise that Gstaad Guy is a highly cerebral individual. Each question prompts a considered answer devoid of fluff, but avoids teetering into anything too personal. I ask what true luxury means to him as opposed to Constance or Colton.
“I think the way people engage with luxury is actually a journey,” he responds with his signature sage tone. “It goes from status to substance on a scale over time for pretty much everyone. Sometimes it happens quickly and sometimes it happens slowly, but I think now more than ever it’s happening quicker than ever thanks to the knowledge people have access to. Gstaad Guy is basically just that. It’s status Colton plus substance Constance and how people are growing from one to the other.”
He elaborates: “A great example of that is when someone makes some money and they book their first summer vacation after they get an amazing job. They’ll go to some beach club and spray champagne and overspend on a bad experience. Maybe they’ll do that the second year, but by the third year, they’ll realise they’re getting ripped off and rubbing shoulders with people that are not like-minded. They’ll realise these experiences can be replaced with a beautiful bottle of wine that they enjoy with a partner in front of a fire. That’s Constance. So that journey I think is what I’m defining through the content and what I’m communicating, and it’s always changing, always being elevated. There’s always so much appetite for that storytelling.”
© AlignAs someone whose parents favoured summer holidays spent traversing the Siberian countryside via railway over glitzy St. Tropez shindigs, I can’t help but feel that I’m Gstaad Guy’s target audience – someone who has grown up with privilege (private school, cocker spaniels, art history degree) but remains acutely aware of it.
At the heart of Gstaad Guy’s humour is a surprisingly clear message: spend with intention, and do it authentically. Through his exaggerated characters, he simply lays the world bare, letting followers laugh, cringe and hopefully take note. It’s why Constance’s ‘À La Poubelle’ philosophy has become bible for those fed up with scandalous Hinge messages, disappointing first dates and the endless slew of Incel documentaries that reinforce the fact that, indeed, a lot of men belong in le trash.
“[Etiquette] was always a big part of my upbringing and it became a bigger interest growing up when I found so much value in it by being exposed to different countries and cultures and figuring out what forms of communication transcend language. Manners have always done that. You can go to Japan and not speak a word of Japanese, and a Japanese person can not speak a word of English, and you immediately understand when someone is being kind to you. When that’s such a big priority, no matter what culture you’re exposed to or what occasion you’re exposed to, that can really shine.”
© AlignGstaad Guy’s true character shines through his podcast, a space where fans can get to know the man behind Colton’s LED face mask. David Attenborough would be his dream guest to interview, joining the likes of Dr. Barbara Sturm, influencer Haley Baylee, Acqua di Parma CEO Giulio Bergamaschi, The Elder Statesman founder Greg Chait and Olympian Yusra Mardina (watch The Swimmers if you haven’t already) on his sofa.
If one day, Constance and Colton were nicked by the taxman and sent to Gstaad prison, the multi-hyphenate says he’d double down on the podcast: “I think I would lose about fifty percent on the entertainment value, but I’d gain that back in authenticity. People’s ADHD is getting worse by the year, so entertainment is needed to lock them in, but also people like truth. So I’ll test it out, maybe I’ll give them a week off and see how it goes.”
As for what’s next? Focussing on his jewellery brand Poubel, which is currently enjoying a wildly successful pop-up in Selfridges that will run until March 15. The collection lightheartedly plays off affluent archetypes such as the Connoisseur (“who loves excellence in all categories”) and the ski bunny, who can’t be seen at the Folie Douce without her red Moon Boots and pink Black Crows. The brand cleverly invites those who fall into each stereotype to self-celebrate and self-deprecate with a series of meticulously hand-painted, customisable charm pieces that are inherently personal.
The pop-up has been a smash hit, nearly selling-out within the first week: “The charms on their own aren’t a statement. They’re a statement paired with personality. It’s an opportunity for the person who wears them to express who they are and not tell someone else’s story. I think that resonates really well with people in general, but particularly with men also who may have a more classic way of dressing,” Gstaad Guy notes, his own wrist aptly adorned with a Poubel bracelet to contrast his simple plain black tee ensemble. “I think there is still some stigma of men buying from a traditionally women’s jewellery brand. But the inverse is not true. Putting Poubel on the women’s floor would alienate our male audience, but putting Poubel on the men’s floor actually welcomes as many women as it does men.”
They say a friend to all is a friend to none, but that couldn’t be further from the truth when it comes to Gstaad Guy. His online persona serves to bridge the gap between the exclusive lifestyle of his subjects and those wanting to glimpse inside its shiny exterior. The very tax bracket he pokes fun at can’t get enough – and neither can those who find that lifestyle completely alien. He represents what women want – respect, and what many decent men aspire to be – quietly successful with serious rizz.
Unless communism decides to make a surprise comeback, the rich will always exist – and depending on where you fall on the political spectrum, that reality comes with both its perks and its problems. But if there’s one undeniable silver lining, it’s the guarantee of Gstaad Guy’s content: an endlessly entertaining chronicle of the absurdity of those who’ve ‘made it’, documented one hotel suite, espresso shot, and fantastique frown at a time.
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