Denise Richards Breaks Down in Tears as She Recalls How She ‘Froze’ During a Sexual Assault: ‘I Couldn’t Even Scream for Help’

Warning: this story contains spoilers from the two-hour season 3 premiere of Special Forces: World’s Toughest Test.

Denise Richards is opening up about the lasting impact of a sexual assault.

On the season 3 premiere of Special Forces: World’s Toughest Test on Jan. 8, the actress, 53, and her fellow recruits were challenged to complete a helicopter extraction — in which they attempted to jump from a boat onto a hovering helicopter and push themselves up to the cabin.

The challenge — which is taken from the actual Army Special Forces selection process — made Richards recall her past. She explained, “I really want to learn how to not be overwhelmed by fear. I’ve been through traumatic situations that have been very terrifying for me. I want to learn how to deal with those issues and be stronger.”

After she failed in the challenge by not being able to lift herself to the helicopter’s cabin, the Directing Staff (DS) brought her in for a discussion after they noted she had “a deer in the headlights kind of look” during the experience.

“It’s hard. I’m completely out of my comfort zone,” said Richards before adding, “I’m not petrified. I’m emotional right now.”

The DS noted that she “froze” during the exercise, and the mom of three responded, “Yes, I’m completely overcome by certain fearful situations, and I want to learn how to stay calm and do something.” 

Richards further elaborated on her reason for doing the show, explaining, “Part of the reason I wanted to do this course is I’ve been in situations where I freeze and I can’t function, I can’t even speak to protect myself.”

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills alum — who is a mother to daughters Sami, 20, Lola, 19, and Eloise, 13 — then recalled a traumatic situation with her husband Aaron Phypers.

“We were driving. He wanted to take me to [a] set,” she said. “He didn’t want me going alone, thank God, and we were physically shot at in his truck, and I sat on the floor and was just literally, I peed. I was so scared… I froze.” 

“The first time I ever experienced that I was 15 and I noticed a man following me,” she continued. “He came up from behind me, put his hand around my mouth, grabbed my vagina, and started dragging me, and I froze, like I couldn’t even scream for help.”

After admitting that she had only told her husband about the sexual assault, Richards broke down in tears and added, “It’s so scary to have that situation, you know, that age and be so vulnerable. And I have three daughters, and I want them to be able to never go through that. And also, if something, God forbid, happen to be strong enough.” 

In a confessional, Richards reflected how she hasn’t moved past the sexual assault. “I think that I haven’t addressed a lot of what I have gone through, and it’s very terrifying. I don’t know if I would be able to get over my past,” she said.

After bungee jumping off a 130-ft. tall bridge and attempting a surf immersion challenge — they dunk themselves repeatedly underwater while linking arms — in the second episode, Richards realized the Fox bootcamp-style reality series had become too much for her.

While complaining of back pain, which caused “barely” be able to walk, Richards ripped of her arm band and quit. “I really want to have the entire experience, but the older I get, I don’t know if I’m physically capable of doing it,” she said.

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer​​, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. 

Special Forces: World’s Toughest Test airs Wednesdays at 8 p.m. ET on Fox.

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, please contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or go to rainn.org.