Jay Manuel and Pamela Chavez may live with a rare disorder that’s physically and mentally “taxing,” but they don’t believe there’s anything “bad” about their lives together.
The pair were both born with osteogenesis imperfecta type 3 — often called brittle bone disease. The rare genetic bone disorder makes people more susceptible to breaking and fracturing bones and leads to bone deformities and a curved spine, according to Johns Hopkins Medicine.
Combined, the two — who are starring in a new reality show, Jay & Pamela on TLC — have had more than 400 bone fractures throughout their lives and navigate the world in motorized wheelchairs.
In an exclusive interview with PEOPLE, the couple admits that chronic pain is typically their biggest challenge.
“We deal with a lot of chronic pain, so we just have to lean onto each other — not too hard to not break anything,” Jay, 29, quips. “No, I’m just kidding. But we had to really lean onto each other for support, and that definitely helps us get through things because when you are going through a lot of pain, it can be taxing.”
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From a mental health standpoint, Jay adds that they’re extremely honest in their relationship and open with each other about how they’re feeling in order to “push through” when “tackling some tough moments” with osteogenesis imperfecta.
“We’re always doing mental check-ins like, how are you doing today? And meet each other where we’re at,” Pamela, 32, says. “Even if you’re having a bad moment, it’s just a bad day not a bad life.”
Some of those ups and downs are documented on their show, Jay & Pamela.
Jay says they value authenticity, and being able to share some of their difficult moments on screen not only raises awareness of their condition, but makes them more “real.”
“It’s nice to share those moments because it’s relatable, it’s human. And on a human level, people can relate to having tough moments even if you don’t necessarily have osteo,” he says. “People can relate to having a tough time, and I think seeing someone like ourselves be so open could be helpful for someone. It’s definitely our diary right there in front of the world.”
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“And also, disability isn’t something to be afraid of or taboo to talk about,” Pamela adds. “It’s just part of your life, and that’s okay.”
Pamela tells PEOPLE that it’s refreshing to be with someone withthe same condition, but it’s not the only similarity they share. “It is a breath of fresh air to have not just your soulmate, but also your best friend,” she says.
The couple — who got engaged in November 2022 — has been working towards building their lives together despite their disorders occasionally hampering their independence.
Jay admits that with osteogenesis imperfecta, it can be easy to get discouraged. However, they keep a positive mindset by reminding themselves that things don’t always go as planned for anyone, and to enjoy the ride regardless. Their reality show will also give fans a glimpse of their journey moving out of Jay’s parents’ house and living on their own.
“Independence looks different for us,” he says before Pamela adds, “I went from getting a caregiver to help me get dressed and take a shower to now I can do a lot of things independently.”
“So really just being okay with the process and loving every part of it,” Jay notes. “We hope that people see a lot of the love and the authenticity that we’re looking to share, and being a part of this journey.”
Jay & Pamela airs Tuesdays at 10 p.m. ET on TLC.
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