Bunnie Xo contemplated suicide when she found out her husband, Jelly Roll, was cheating on her.
In her newly released memoir, âStripped Down: Unfiltered and Unapologetic,â the podcaster described being suspicious that the Grammy award-winning singer was having an affair when they were experiencing marital issues around 2018.
The two had just tied the knot two years prior.
After one explosive fight, Bunnie detailed becoming âdepressedâ when the 41-year-old moved out of their Nashville home with his daughter from a previous relationship, Bailee.
Eventually, the 46-year-old showed up to one of Jelly Rollâs local concerts unannounced, which made him âirate.â Despite Jelly Roll denying he was being unfaithful, she later learned âhe had his ex-fling waiting for him in a hotel down the street.â
That night, the wife of Jelly Rollâs best friend confirmed to Bunnie â whose real name is Alisa DeFord â that the singer was having an affair.
âSheâd confirmed all the suspicions and fears Iâd felt for the past ten months,â Bunnie wrote, adding that she decided in that moment to pack her bags and move back to Las Vegas.
âThat night I contemplated taking my life,â she revealed. âThe pain was so intense that I genuinely just wanted to end it all.â
Bunnie went as far as grabbing a bottle of pills from her bathroom, writing, âI stared at the bottle, wondering what it would feel like to die from an overdose.
âWould it hurt? Would I just fall asleep? What if it didnât work and I woke up in a hospital? Would J even care if I was dead?â
But Bunnie ultimately decided not to give in to her suicidal ideations.
âI took a deep breath. Tomorrow is a new day,â she said. âTime to get the fâk out of here.â
After the couple privately agreed to a three-month separation, Jelly Roll eventually texted Bunnie and promised to finally tell her the truth.
When they met up, Jelly Roll lied to Bunnie and âmade up a story about a drug dealerâs daughter he met at a bar, never admitting it was his ex-fling.â
Bunnie âbelievedâ her husband and they moved back to Nashville â but everything blew up when she discovered he was texting and calling his âex-fling,â with whom he was having an affair all along.
âFrom that day on, I didnât want information from him anymore,â Bunnie wrote. âHe had his chance and he squandered it. So I talked to her.â
Jelly Rollâs ex-fling sent Bunnie âvideos, screenshots, timelines and [âŠ] everything about their ten-month affair,â including that he got his mistress a house for them to live in.
âAnd out of everything, thatâs what made me sick,â Bunnie said. âIt wasnât about him fâking this broadâit was about emotionally cheating.â
Despite the affair, Bunnie decided to forgive her husband, whose real name is Jason Bradley DeFord.
âIâm not going to pretend that we just went back to normal. We absolutely did not,â she admitted, noting that the pair had âmany fights and argumentsâ at the time.
During one incident, Bunnie felt âhomicidalâ when Jelly Roll said he didnât regret the affair.
âIt would take years for me to put the affair aside,â she wrote. âIt would take years to actually feel like this man loved meâthat I wasnât disposable.â
Jelly Roll previously called cheating on Bunnie âone of the worst moments of my adulthoodâ on the âHuman Schoolâ podcast in October.
âBecause it was the first time that I was like, âI really canât get this right at all. I know Iâm in love with this woman,ââ he explained. âIt just really, really, really blew me back.â
The couple, who have custody of Jelly Rollâs daughter, celebrated their ninth wedding anniversary last year.
âLife is ours, we live it our way đ« 9 years of us âš,â Bunnie wrote on Instagram in her tribute to her husband.
If you or someone you know is affected by any of the issues raised in this story, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (8255) or text Crisis Text Line at 741741.
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