How often do you find yourself battling indecision? From inconsequential choices, such as which exercise class to book, to life-changing decisions surrounding relationships and work, we face a barrage of choices each day – and this influx can leave us feeling stuck.
As an embodiment coach, Anthea Bell helps her clients – including Bridgerton’s Bessie Carter, who plays Prudence Featherington – feel freed from their indecision via a clever combination of coaching, meditation and breathwork.
Shameless star Emma Kenney uses an embodiment coach too, to help her develop her characters. But you don’t have to be a Netflix star or an A-lister to enlist the help of an embodiment coach…
Why are we so indecisive?
The endless options in our modern lives leave us with racing thoughts and an inability to make even the simplest choices, according to Anthea.
“The amount of incoming data we receive from our screens, the intensity of the political climate and the multiplicity of roles that we’re expected to fulfil mean there’s more coming into the brain than we were designed to process and handle,” she says. “We’re always measuring and balancing 50 alternatives, creating a fear of making the wrong decision, meaning our nervous systems become so hyperactivated that we’re overwhelmed most of the time.”
© Getty ImagesUnwrapping indecision
So, what can we do to curb indecision? Anthea says it’s all about reminding ourselves we’re okay. “My mission in life is to make people feel safe,” she says, explaining that coming from a place of safety and security, without a million thoughts racing in our heads, is crucial to feeling at peace – a state many of us struggle to reach.
Below, Anthea breaks down her top ways to address indecision and create an environment that allows us to feel more secure and in control of our choices…
1. Reduce the stakes
“To overcome indecision, we have to remember that [in most instances where indecision arises] there is no right or wrong choice,” Anthea says.
It is a difficult pill to swallow, she acknowledges. “But it’s the space of safety that allows you to know that, while there are thousands of options available to you, whichever you choose, you will be fine. Reducing the stakes associated with your decision calms the body down.”
2. Find your calm
To find a place of calm where we can make decisions more easily, our body needs to feel safe, which is the reason why you can feel a huge sense of clarity after an hour of restorative yoga or a massage.
© Kmatta“The misconception is that to reach a place of calm, you need to take an hour out of your busy day to reset, but in reality, the practices that you can use in the body happen in minutes,” Anthea explains.
“An hour-long yoga or meditation session is an amazing thing, and it will train deep parasympathetic calm [the body’s “rest and digest” state], but you could rest by simply softening your tongue and your eyes and tuning into your breath for a minute or two, or by feeling the grounding of your feet on the floor. All of those things tell the body on a very basic level that you are safe and the stakes are not that high.”
3. Put down your phone
Anthea’s final word of advice is one we all know we should take heed of. “You’ve got to get away from your phone,” she urges. “Otherwise, there’s more data coming to overload you. We need to gently strip back the information we’re not consenting to and take more agency. That is what will reset you.”
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