At 50 I finally stopped caring about the size of my bottom

As mum to a teenage daughter, I had hoped she and her peers would have a more positive relationship with their looks than us midlifers, but no, things are worse for them. 

Shocking statistics have emerged from Dove’s latest research, revealing that one in three women would give up a year of their life for the ‘perfect body’.

On top of that, over half of our New Year’s resolutions stem from a feeling of dissatisfaction with what we see in the mirror, to the point that 69% of us have avoided a social situation due to low body confidence.

Another depressing fact Dove found was that millennial women have ‘the lowest body confidence compared to previous generations.’ Gutted.

Negative self-chatter

Pretty much every woman I know endures constant self-critical chatter – internal negative dialogue focused on our bodies.

Catch yourself in the mirror and curse your thighs? Try jeans on in a shop and berate your hips? See a candid a picture of you where your belly is less than flat and feel your mood dip? Same, same. 

We think that if we were to achieve the perfect body, then this inner trash talk would stop, but I’m here to tell you it doesn’t. 

I have worked with models and actresses who society has held up as having the ‘ideal’ proportions. And, newsflash, they are more self-critical than anyone else I know. 

ROSIE’S COLUMN: Am I too old to call my partner my ‘boyfriend’ at 50? 

Constantly scrutinised and always in the company of other genetically blessed humans, they compare themselves and find fault. 

As a stylist, I was forever having to help them into very small clothes that didn’t always fit and consequently, I’ve seen the most beautiful women in the world sob because they felt ugly.

So how do we stop this negativity? We can repeat all those clichès about understanding our worth is not based on our dress size, but I don’t think it makes a real difference to our self-worth unless we allow time and space for the message to really sink in.

Rewiring your brain

We need mental tools to effect change in our brain and rewire our neural pathways so it’s easier to think kind thoughts about ourselves than mean ones.

To that end, Dove has launched a new series of videos on their website to increase body confidence.

READ: I’m quitting emotional labour – and you should too 

I promise this is not some kind of ad for them (zero money has exchanged hands!) but they have recruited Dr. Phillippa Deidrichs, a world leading body image expert and professor of psychology at the Centre for Appearance Research, to give practical advice that will actually make a difference to how you feel. 

From suggestions such as finding gratitude for what your body can achieve, to more practical actions such as eliminating all the social media accounts from your feed that make you feel bad about your body.

Dr. Deidrichs says at the end of one of the videos, ‘Imagine if you redirected all the time, energy, money and worry you spend on your appearance and redirected that into things in your life that you enjoy and value.’

I know all this comes from a beauty brand, so you might have a degree of cynicism, but I wholeheartedly agree with her that life is too short to worry about the size of your bottom.  

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